April 30th, 2006
Part 3
I woke up at around 3AM and began to stress about the
reality we were all living in. I
remember getting dressed and going to the lobby of the hotel and calling a
friend of mine. I was a young
person. I never thought that I would be
in this situation.
I knew in a few hours; Chris would be home. My family would all be in the same time
zone. We would all be together. I loved to see Chris always. I was stressed today though.
Most people who know me, know that I have a decent sense of
direction. That is unless I am in a
hospital. I continually get lost. I learn one way to get to the place I need to
be, and I will not stray from that path.
If I do, I end up in random places.
One time in Shadyside hospital
when my mom was there I ended up in the surgical elevator. The doors opened and everyone was in scrubs
looking at me. In this hospital, I knew
one way to get to where I needed to go and I knew how to get to the cafeteria.
I walked to the hospital from the hotel and took my mother
in law’s post to the right of Bruce. I
looked at him. I was looking at a very
strong man looking frail and motionless.
I noticed that his right thumb was twitching. I noticed it the day prior, but now it was a
constant, vigorous movement. An
uncontrolled reflex that couldn’t be stopped.
It was unsettling to me.
The exact time that Chris was picked up and got to the
hospital, I don’t recall other than it was early. Donivan, his cousin picked him up. I’m sure that Donivan talked about the
reality of how Bruce was. I’m sure that
Chris tried to prepare himself. There is
no preparation though. The reality was
harsh. Chris was going to be smacked in
the face with it.
I wrote a blog once and mentioned briefly this hospital
trip. In the blog I wrote about specific
minutes that are forever etched in my mind with my kids. This was the moment with Chris. I will never, never forget looking into the
all glass room when Chris walked in. It
was a devastation. It was me witnessing
a heart breaking. Terribly sad.
This was Sunday. When
Ron, Chris and I met with the team of doctors, they were clear that we needed
to start developing a plan. We needed to
prepare ourselves for the inevitable future.
They said that Bruce would be going through testing later in the
morning. The testing was going to give
us the reality of Bruce’s brain activity. When
we returned to the waiting room, Chris was the guy who spoke up and announced
to everyone what the conversation was.
You see he was admitted with a 99% blockage which resulted
in a heart attack. By the time he was resuscitated
and stabilized minutes went by.
Factually there were enough minutes to cause brain damage. The only question was to what extent. How many minutes?
There were only a few times I remember see Bruce’s mom out
of the CCU room. This was one of
them. In no time at all, the doctors
came in and said that Bruce lacked brain activity. We sat and talked about the options. Option 1. Take him off of life support. Option 2.
Put him in a nursing facility and keep him alive via life support. Neither
of them optimistic for a future.
I remember looking at Bruce’s mom and thinking that this had
to be killing her. At one of her “chat
sessions” with Bruce, she told him that he was the “most handsome” of her sons. Ron, another of her sons, was in the room and
thanked her for saying that in front of him.
I don’t think she apologized.
After the meeting with the doctors. Chris, again spoke up and said that his dad
would never want on life support. He
also said that his dad wanted to be cremated.
Bruce would have never wanted people looking at him in a casket. He was very right in both cases.
The day dragged. How
could it not? People came in and
out. Chris’ friend Paige stopped by and
brought Chris some things that he needed.
People brought drinks in. We took
turns going to the cafeteria, and eating.
It almost started to feel normal on some level.
I want to add though that Bruce’s sister was having some
serious health issues. She in fact was
going to be admitted to another Pittsburgh hospital the next day. At some point of this day, she stopped as she
was going into Bruce’s room and told me that this moment took her back in time
to one of the times her own dad was in the hospital. She was referring to looking at Megan standing
beside Bruce’s bed.
I mentioned that Bruce and I both have bigger families. There were many nieces and nephews. At any point there were a dozen or two people
with us. That opened the way for many
stories about Bruce. He was the rowdy,
baby of the family. There were many
stories that we had never heard about Bruce.
At one point my brother-in- law said that Bruce Parke was a guy who you
could love one second and the next second, you wanted to kill him. He was right.
As the evening went on I found my kids, a couple of Bruce’s nieces
and nephews and a couple of bottles of wine in the waiting room. We sipped on
the wine. We talked. This was one of the few times that we shared the waiting
room with anyone. As it turned out, it
was a family of someone who worked with Bruce for years. They recognized some of the stories and
shared some of their own. Everyone
always still can come up with “Bruce-lore”.
I’m sure through the years the stories have gotten exaggerated a
bit.
We left the hospital after midnight to go back to our room
at the hotel down the street.
I should mention that this weekend was also the weekend of
the University of Pittsburgh’s graduation.
The city was hopping.
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