Criticizing Others Parenting

Criticizing others parenting skills.

On TV this morning there was a segment on a talk show about criticizing others parenting skills.  Here’s my question………WHY?

Having said that, I suspect that my mouth flows with unsolicited parenting “wisdom”.  Normally, I don’t have a problem finding things to say. 

I do remember and try to use a counseling tool I learned a lifetime ago.  That is, if you are going to say something negative you should sandwich it between two positives.  I do though try to keep my tongue bridled. 

My mom's dad, grand pap Gettemy,  used to hear a baby or toddler in a store and go collect them and entertain them while their mom's would get the shopping done.  It wasn't unusual at all to see him walking a baby through stores.  He never knew their names.  Oddly, people just trusted him.  Imagine him doing that in today's world.

When I see a child challenging parents in a restaurant, let’s say, I try to distract the child.  Give them something to look at long enough for their parents to regroup.  It is never done with any intentions of me trying to be superior to them. 

If I am on a plane, I have offered many people my tablet or ipad to allow the kids to play games or watch a show or movie that are all stored on them already. 

As I see it, anyone of us who have had kids in public have more than likely have felt the pain of assuming people are talking negatively and critiquing our parenting skills, or lack thereof.  After you are out of the kid tantrum phase of life, it’s quickly forgotten that we were once in their shoes.

On the program that I was watching, a woman was interviewed.  A delivery person came to her house and she was still in her pj’s.  She opted not to answer the door.  The delivery person was afraid there was a problem since he could hear children in the house.  By the time the woman walked to the front of the house, policemen were there.  She was somewhat taken back by that. 

In that scenario, I don’t know what I would do.  I suspect though, that I would have waited a few minutes in my vehicle, then return in 15 minutes or so, assuming mom was in the shower or basement and didn’t hear the bell.  Bad things do happen to people, so I think I may have been grateful to the delivery man for having my kids’ safety in mind. 

Not long ago, I was at a playground with my daughter, Megan and her gals.  There was a little boy playing, as well as other set of adults and a little boy.  After they left it was just us and the little boy.  I asked him if he was there alone.  He said that his dad was at the pet park up a hill from where we were.  Because it was getting dark, we had him walk up to where his dad was.  Was that me overstepping his father?  He may have thought so.  I viewed it as me keeping the child safe. 

All in all, I do think that we live in a mean world.  We live in a world that technology is at our fingertips.  As parents, we are under a microscope.  Our every move is looked at.  We can’t smack kids.  We can’t touch our kids.  It would be easy to parent IF our kids all responded to us as well as kids do after a week with “Jo, the English nanny”.  They don’t. 

I don’t think that it is honestly anyone’s opinion what age your kid gets an ipad, cell phone or for that matter, when they are potty trained, taken off the bottle or anything.  Random people only get a say IF and WHEN they are asked to financially contribute.   How is that for a rule of thumb?

Crit