Mom Part 3

More Mom…

Mom part 3

I have given a brief story of my mom’s health issues that occurred over a few years.  The last thing I wrote was to say that we finally got into a routine. 

I am not going to say that having my mom with me was always easy.  It was challenging at times.  I am happy that I did it.  In many posts I have mentioned my mom and I think that I made it clear that her life wasn’t always easy.  I am beyond happy that I was able to have my mom here.  The minute that she was taken from the nursing home, her life improved.

My mom lived with us for a few years.  She did stuff around the house.  She was the laundry folder and dishwasher loader and emptier.  She would enjoy my kids and grandkids.  We would have parties to encourage her other kids and their families to visit.  The first thing I did in the morning was to unlock the door.  The last thing I would do was lock the door.  Everyone knew our garage codes.  My mom’s friends and family were always welcome.

My mom was a very passive person.  She would do jigsaw puzzles constantly.  There was a card table in our family room as a permanent fixture.  In the prime of my mom’s life she could easy do a 500-piece puzzle in a day.  After her stroke, she slowed down a bit.   After she completed her puzzles though, she would view it as a good solid work day.  She’d say, “Well, I got that one done!”  Then she would put it back in the box and move onto the next. 

I think that she was happy with us.  I actually only have one regret with her here.  I could have and should have taken her to my daughter’s wedding.  She was married in the Bahamas and we had a house that had a room and bathroom that would have worked well for her.  Unfortunately, I was selfish and didn’t take her.  I do realize though that she could not have made the trip.  It would have simply been too much for her.  She didn’t have the stamina for it.  We did have a reception at our house after the wedding.  My mom thoroughly enjoyed it.

It would have been a huge process to take her.  She was in a wheel chair.  The flight would have been hard on all of us.  Transportation while we were there would have been complicated.  I would have had to invest a lot of my time into caring for her.  I should have done it though.  She would have loved it.  I was just a little too selfish.  The reality is that it would have been far too difficult and grueling for her. 

The nice thing about my mom being here is that she had activities and a purpose.  We were her family.  Despite the rough things, which I won’t discuss, it was the absolute right thing to do.

Please share your thoughts about aging parents and younger generations changing roles with their parents.

That’s all of the Donna (mom) for now.  To follow will be my grandmother coming to live with Donna….