Life and death.

My grandmother died in November 2013.  She was 100 years old and about 3 weeks.  She always said that she wanted to be 100.  She met her goal.  Maybe she should have aimed higher.  Since then, I have lost track with the number of deaths my husband and I have had.  I believe we are nearing 50.  These are people who we were close enough to the person or the family that we either attended the funeral or send something.   They have included relatives, friend’s family, friends of my kids.    It’s to the point that I hate to see the paper.

After my grandmother, my husband’s father was one of the next.  Tim is from Sheboygan, WI.  We were at my daughter’s house, leaving early the next morning for a business trip to Florida.  At 10 o’clock PM, we got a call.  My sister-in-law called to say their dad fell and broke his hip.  Instead of going to Florida with our summer clothes, we found ourselves driving to Wisconsin with our summer clothes in February.  Trust me when I say that that particular winter, there weren’t enough clothes to stay warm in Wisconsin.

It was a long week in Wisconsin, followed be a quick trip back to PA, followed by a 2 week trip back to Wisconsin.  We were prepared for the weather the second trip.  At one point, I told my husband, who thought he was going to have to return home for a business meeting that I was there for the duration.  I was available.  Tim was able to move things and stay.

Tim has two brothers and a sister.  One is in Utah.  One is in Texas.  One is in Florida/ Australia.  We are the closest at 600 miles. 

Anyone who has gone through the drill of watching a loved one lose their life knows that it is emotionally difficult.  It is physically difficult.  At one point, Tim’s dad told Tim that he really didn’t think he knew how to die.  Sad. 

His 3 sons and a grandson were all there the last week.  They were all taking turns staying through the night.  I personally made a promise that we would make sure that he was never alone.  He wasn’t alone.  All three of the sons were with him. 

Immediately after we returned home.  We helped our good friend put her husband in hospice.  He went home on Tuesday and died early Sunday morning.  I was taking turns staying overnight.  Tim and I both stayed the night that he died. We again found ourselves burying someone important to us. 

 In December 2014, my mom was taken to the hospital.  There was a strong possibility that she was going to make it to the hospital.  There was a possibility that she was going to be a DOA.  She was having a rough time for the week prior.  When she was in the hospital she was able to have a good few days, followed by a steady decline.  Again, Tim and I found ourselves watching someone die.  My mom died on December 26^th early in the morning.  Three of her kids were with her, as was Tim and her oldest granddaughter and her husband.  Another sad week for us.  My son, Chris, was flying home from LA.  He missed seeing her by a few hours.

 A few days later, my first husband’s step father died. 

Tim and I actually had to start wondering what was going on.  It all was too crazy.   2015 was another year of deaths.  I looked on Facebook this week and 3 more people died.  Death is a horrible.  Although, I will and do acknowledge that many people who die are finally ending horrible struggles and illness.

I hope that soon I will pick up the paper or look at Facebook and not see mentions of death. I hope it ends soon. 

I will say seeing people die always scared me.  But, since my first husband died, I got a new perspective (thanks to a nurse) on the dying process.  Now I am not afraid of watching death.  I accept the sadness.  I feel that it is a privilege of perhaps being a source of comfort.