My Mom   part 1

I have mentioned my mother in a previous blog.  My mom was truly the most passive person I have ever known.  My parents divorced when I was young, so my mom raised 4 kids on her own.  She was tired every day.  She worked hard to provide for us.  I am not implying that my dad did not support us, he did.  As with any family there are always things needed. 

Truth be told, looking back there is no doubt in my mind that she was depressed for a large part of her life.  Sad to realize that so late in life.  

Several years ago, she had a knee replacement.  Long story short.  She ended up with a staph infection in her leg.  There was a period of time that she was constantly having surgeries to try to clear the infection up.  She had antibiotic blocks in her knee, she had a vacuum apparatus in her knee that was draining the infection with the hope of healing it. 

Throughout this period of time, she lived with me.  I became my mother’s mother.  I never have considered myself to be “the nurse” type.  When my kids would get hurt, I would have them elevate whatever was hurt above their heart.  My solution to cuts was to jump in the pool and let the chlorine clean it out.  Then I became a caregiver to my mom.  I was so far out of my safety zone.

Where to start.  It was difficult watching her leg simply refuse to heal.  No matter what the doctors were trying, nothing was working.  She would have 6 week stays in nursing homes for IV antibiotics.  She was a trooper and was able to maintain her passiveness.  Over a period of about 5 years she had 15 surgeries.  The 15^th was an amputation. 

I remember being at the doctors and him saying that he would give it his all, but there would be a point that she would just be ready for the amputation.  My mom worked in a nursing home and told me that she dealt with many amputees who would be fitted with a prosthetic limb and they were uncomfortable and more times than not, sit in the closet. 

For me personally, I did medical billing and would nearly get nauseous typing the codes for billing amputations.  And this was turning into our life’s!  I felt so unprepared for this.  I struggled with knowing that I needed to jump in and deal with it.  I remember going to the appointment and signing a release for the surgery and scheduling it.  July 2006. 

The night before the surgery, she was talking to my daughter and told her that she had a hang nail, but wasn’t going to worry about it since within 24 hours, she wouldn’t have that leg.   Incredibly enough, that was the site of her phantom pain.  

All 4 of her kids went to the hospital spouses on arm, except for me, I was a widow at this time.  We all knew that it was going to be a long day.  I planned on staying at the hospital the first night in case there were any issues.  Surgery went well.  The source of the infection was gone.  Within days, my mom was off to a rehab hospital that would teach her to deal with her new situation.  Again, she handled this with great bravery and in silence.  She soon returned to the house, prosthesis and all.  

I said that my mom was on antibiotics numerous times.  What wasn’t realized was that antibiotics are hard on the kidneys.  My mom soon had kidney issues.  In less than a year of her amputation, she had a staghorn kidney stone that was 84 % of her right kidney.   She needed surgery to have it removed.   The surgery had to be stopped at midpoint because she went into AFIB.    Another round of issues for my mom.   This was so unfair.  She needed a break.

To shorten the story.  My mom was released from the hospital without Coumadin.   The blood thinner that would prevent her from having a stroke.  I knew that she needed it.  I didn’t think through the situation correctly though.  I kept reaching out to the hospital and the doctor that released her.  I called repeatedly with no return calls.  In retrospect, I should have called her PCP.  I dropped the ball.

A day after she was released, I came home from work and got her dinner.  Immediately after I gave her dinner and I walked out of her room, I heard her plate fall.  I knew what happened.  My mom had a stroke.  I called my neighbor (who was an EMT) over to start assessing her.  By the time the ambulance got there she was ready to go.  I wanted to be as proactive as possible because I knew that there was a possible drug that was given to stroke patients to slow the damage that could occur.   

She was in a coma for 6 days. 

I am going to stop at this point.  I have to write about my mom giving her all of the honor she deserves.  Tomorrow I will write more!

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