Always a mom.

I think that it is only natural to always want to parent and protect and guide your kids.  At least for me it is.  That may be a failure of my own.  My kids are 36, 34, and 31 and I try to keep my mouth closed and thoughts to myself.  Sometimes, that isn’t so successful! 

To me it’s this simple.  The minute I found out I was pregnant, I started caring for my babies.   They are born and totally dependent on their parents.  I nursed my kids so they were never too far away for extended times.  I taught them to grow and be independent.  I marveled at every accomplishment.  I hugged their sadness away.  I kissed their tears away. 

One day, I looked around the house and my small babies and children were gone and somehow my house was full of adults.  I struggled for a while wishing my babies would be back on my lap.  Wishing didn’t work.  That left me with the option to embrace my new roles in life.    I eventually found my way to Teetah and mother in law, and still mom to my 3 kids.

I have mentioned before that there are times in life for me that time and moments freeze.  Probably the best example of that was when my kid’s dad died.  We all found ourselves in a hospital waiting room.  First I should interject that Chris, my oldest son, was living in LA.  My heart broke to think about him flying across the country alone.  I was sure that the time would sit still.  I was very careful to not let him know the seriousness of his dad’s condition.

He knew that his dad had a heart attack and had surgery to correct the problem.  What he didn’t know was that his dad was on life support.  A cousin picked him up from the airport and brought him straight to the hospital. 

I will never forget Chris walking into the room and seeing his dad.  Before he went into the room, I did tell him about his dad’s condition.  I can tell you what he had on.  I can tell you how sad and helpless the situation was. 

I remember the second morning, Greg (my second son) walked into the hospital and looked at me trying to assure me that life was going to be ok.  He clearly spent most of the night before processing the reality of life for his dad.  That reality was death. 

With Meg, it was in the doorway of her dad’s room.  She stopped and looked in the room with tears in her eyes, listening to her grandmother talking to her baby, Megan’s dad.  It was a horrible time.  But those moments, time stopped for me.

Bruce dying, in a few months is going to be 10 years.  In time, life resumed.  Now I was the sole parent of my three adult kids.

So many things have changed.  The thing that hasn’t changed is my need, desire to help my kids.  I am a fixer.  I think that I look at life in a very realistic approach.  I hear a situation and instinctively THINK I know how to fix it. 

The problem I have now is often my kids don’t want to hear my solution or approach to a solution. 

I want my kids to be happy.  I want my kids to trust their hearts.  I want my kids to see what is important and hang onto it dearly.  Life can change in a second.  I don’t want my kids to ever regret going the extra mile to be happy and feel whole.

I wish I can just line them all up and give them the reassurance to believe in love. Believe in each other. 

I think there is so much pressure on people, regardless if we are talking about a kindergartener or a 60-year-old.   It’s so important to know that you have a supportive spouse, siblings, friends and parents in you corner.

Sometimes maybe the most important thing is to hear the “ wise mom’s “ words and trust that she loves you enough to know that she is right…..

Just maybe????????